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Spring Issue (2008)
 
How to Write a Sonnet in Iambic Pentameter

                                      By Elan Kirshenbaum

 

   Here you will learn how to write a sonnet in iambic pentameter. First of all, what is a sonnet?

    A sonnet is a 14 line poem that was usually written during the times of William Shakespeare. It consists of an a, b, a, b, c, d, c, d, e, f, e, f, g, g rhyme scheme. This means that Line 1 rhymes with Line 3, Line 2 rhymes with Line 4, Line 5 rhymes with Line 7, Line 6 rhymes with Line 8, Line 9 rhymes with Line 11, Line 10 rhymes with Line 12, and Lines 13 and 14 rhyme together.What is iambic pentameter?

    Iambic pentameter is a form of writing that sets each line to a meter. This means that each line has a certain "beat" to it. Iambic pentameter consists of U_U_U_U_U_. Each U indicates an unaccented syllable. Each _ indicates an accented syllable. For example, the line "A feeling which you can feel all day long" is in iambic pentameter. Try it out by accenting and unaccenting the appropriate syllables (to start you off, unaccent the syllable "A", accent the syllable "fee", unaccent the syllable "ling", etc.). If written correctly, the entire line will fall into the U_U_U_U_U_ meter.How to write a Sonnet in Iambic Pentameter.

    Now that you know what a sonnet is and what iambic pentameter is, it's time to start writing a sonnet in iambic pentameter. This can be awfully tricky because it is necessary to make the sonnet fit the rhyme scheme (a, b, a, b, c, d, c, d, e, f, e, f, g, g) while also making the sonnet fall into iambic pentameter. Here is an example of the first four lines of a sonnet in iambic pentameter:

    Some day I want to be a therapist,

    The patients are all nice and welcoming,

    Some day I want a watch that's on my wrist,

    Some day I'll give my fiancé a ring.

    Notice that the first and third lines rhyme and the second and fourth lines rhyme. Also, all four lines stick to iambic pentameter (also note that in the fourth line, by the word fiancé, you accent the "fi", unaccent the "an", and accent the "ce").

    Now you try! Have fun!

 
 
Winter Issue (2007)
 
English is a Slow Language ( A Linguistics Essay)

                     By Rocky Reichman

    Analyze the way you talk. Measure the speed at which you speak English; compare it to the speed at which you think other languages are spoken. The point? To show you that English is a slow language: it’s spoken more gently and more sluggishly than foreign tongues. English is spoken more slowly than languages like Spanish, Italian or Hebrew. We’ll explore why English is such a slow language. And why other languages are spoken so quickly. Then we’ll discuss how and why this theory could be the other way around, how English might really be a fast language, not a slow one.

    In his book Jamestown: A Novel, Mathew Sharpe writes “Oh English! How I love to write to you in English, even though it is so slow to do anything in English.” So let’s face it. At this point, we know English is a slowly spoken language. And the real-world implications of that sentiment are not to be taken lightly: if English is spoken slowly, then does that mean that it’s easier and faster to shout battle commands in other languages? Or does that make communication easier in other languages? There are numerous reasons why English is slow, so we’ll cover the basics. One reason is because of grammar and punctuation. Think about it. Lynne Truss’ book Eats, Shoots and Leaves was a best-seller. And one reason English is so hard to master as a second language is because it is too complicated. Our language--and those who speak or write it--are very serious when it comes to rules. Proper grammar, correct punctuation. Standard vs. style, you name it. Even English spelling can be difficult, with all our of our language’s variations and words with MMS (Multiple Meanings Syndrome--not contagious, I think). Another reason English is spoken more slowly than languages like Hebrew is because in English, it takes more words--and therefore more time--to get your message across, to say what you want to say. Both reasons are accurate.

    But maybe it’s neither of them, because maybe English is not a slow language--maybe English is spoken at a normal speed and other languages are just fast. So maybe it’s not our fault. Foreign languages like Spanish and Italian might be spoken faster, or might just seem to be spoken faster. Maybe those born in Spain and Mexico speak their languages faster out of a sense of urgency, or just because fast communication is a part of their culture. Reasons for this have been garnered on an online discussion group on Proz.com, where several reasons are given as to why Spanish and Italian seem to be spoken more quickly than English. One suggestion is that languages like Spanish and Italian are frequently heard to be spoken in several syllables per second. A detailed answer is that in Spanish the mouth is in an open position which allows for a very relaxed tongue and supported breathing. Ultimately, this allows the Spanish speaker to talk more quickly. Lastly, there’s the simple suggestion that maybe the speed difference is only due to differing rhythms of speech. Gerald Erichsen of About.com received a letter that discussed a study that “concluded Spanish is spoken more rapidly than English.” Why? “The reason is because the typical Spanish syllable is open (meaning consonant-vowel) while in English the typical syllable is closed (consonant-vowel-consonant). Words with more than one syllable in English tend to have two dissimilar consonants together requiring a slowing of speech to sound both of them.” So is it our fault? Or is it that English is really not slow and other languages are just fast? According to this, we’ve proved our point. They’re too fast, English isn’t too slow. Case closed.

    But is that it? No way. We’ve got reasons why other languages like Spanish and Italian are spoken faster than English, but how do we apply these to the outside world? If these languages are being spoken too quickly and English speakers are being left in the dark (linguistically speaking), then doesn’t this create frustration and pronunciation problems to those new to the language? How could we alleviate this, find a solution? One American who lives in Mexico City and speaks Spanish very well recently suggested that one should go to Spain to learn how to understand (and speak) fast-spoken Spanish better. Or go to Mexico, he said, any country where that language--Spanish, for instance--is the dominant tongue. (I politely declined.)

    Still, despite all the proof we have mustered so far, everything could be wrong. And so I face any critics of the theory “English is a Slow Language” with more answers, because they could be right; I don’t deny the possibility than English is a not a slow language. It could be the other way around: English could be a fast language. How? Look at it regionally. Take New York City for example. Big city. Talk is fast. People speak as quickly as they can. And especially teens. Why? For the young techie generation, speech has become faster (and less informal, to the dismay of many grammarians) through the use of new mobile devices and the Internet. Instant messaging, text messaging--they’re the primary contributors to this change in speed of speech. And speaking fast fits perfectly with overall city life: it’s fast-paced, everyone’s rushing to go somewhere, to do something. Phrases such as “Like totally” and “Gotta go” have therefore spread through city lexicons at an alarming rate. This is especially true in America, more than in other countries like Great Britain. Because in America, city life and fast-paced days are much more common. There’s the New York Stock exchange, where everyone’s rushing to sell or buy their stocks. All the New York City business people rushing to and fro--very fast paced. And then there are the technology innovations like the Blackberry and the iPhone-well, you get the point. I searched for articles on the field of Linguistic Topography, and the best result I could find was an essay by writer and etymologist Geoff Anderson in Literary Magic magazine (hey, I’ve heard about that publication before!). Mr. Anderson writes about a phrase he coined called Linguistic Topography, which is the study of how your environment--“where you live and work”--affects how you speak. He discusses how city life influences people--New Yorkers especially--to be fast-paced: to speak quickly “to save time.”

    To quote one of the best, most articulate and well thought out lines in the study, “New Yorkers force out sentences as if they’re in a hurry to give birth, pushing and heaving.” The English language is in some regions spoken quickly; but overall, our tongue is spoken very slowly. And despite its speed, English speakers will never stop voicing Sharpe’s words: “Oh English!” English will remain loved by its speakers. So it will persist. It will keep going. And yes, Mr. Anderson, it will never stop pushing and heaving.

 
 
Fall Issue (2007)
 
This issue, essayist Adnan Mahmtovic discusses literature. Read the literary criticism below.
 
 
                     Literature on My Mind
 
                       An Essay on Criticism by Adnan Mahmutovic 
                  Department of English, Stockholm University

      When Salman Rushdie wrote, "I, too, like all emigrants, am a fantasist" (Shame, 1983), he must have thought of me. He must have used that authorial, though migrating, 1 st person "I" to describe none but me. A rude and immodest claim, I admit. For a literary critic, one would need a magnifying glass to find so egoistic and scandalous an interpretation. In fact, before I even charcoaled this thought, I could already smell fire and brimstone in form of my professor scurrying down the corridor. Yet, I heard no huffing and banging at my door, so I desisted the fear and typed the beginning, the migrant's alpha.

     Salman's text continued, "I build imaginary countries and try to impose them on the others that exist." Again my neat analytical power gave up on me, and I claimed out loud that Salman was not talking about Pakistan, or any other country imagined into existence in his fiction. Ultimately, he was speaking of the country of Being – literature. Already at that stage in his life, his concern was not with the imaginary countries with "real world" referents, but with literature as the imagined world space that comprises everything, an oasis fraught with fatality, as Michael Ondaatje's Italian villa ( The English Patient, 1992). And, if he and you the reader will excuse my insistence on the first names, it is Michael whom I will presently use to prove my point. In a correctly scholarly fashion, of course.

      The migrant Salman lost his country, his nativity, his faith and found literature. I, the migrant, lost my country, my nativity, and found faith. Yet I also found literature. Or put more poetically, it found me. It followed me, shadowed me, caught me up, walled me in, enhoused me, encountried me. But, phantasmagorical or not like nation states, this country has its borders. I trespass these in my proper readings, and misreadings proper. Last year I wrote obsessively about rape. To use that infamously strong word, I could perhaps suggest that I ravished a lot of literature, but also that it violated me. Like two kids in a sandbox, or two grizzled politicians, my country and I are daily arguing about who started the quarrel, the conflict, the war. All good literature is a fight with something at stake. All good criticism is by the same token an elaborate quarrel. Some kind of damsel always needs to be saved and lots of things damaged in the quest. Yet to me this utter war zone is founded on intimacy, which I believe is brimming in for instance Michael's work. Violence is no doubt present, but only because of the great intimacy I have with this imaginary homeland. This violent intimacy then grounds the problematic marriage between literature and scholarly work.

      To further blow up this claim, I will now take recourse to an anecdote. Once (upon time), a professor told me I had to fall in love with an author (not several, only one), meaning I needed to stay focused but also implying the one author of which he would approve. I found this demanded love undeliverable even though I was already in love with an author, and, in fact, I was cheating on this one with a whole range of other authors. That same day, I was asked to suggest a potential candidate for Nobel Prize, and everything started to clear up. It was a most kind invitation and an opportunity for an aspiring researcher, and therefore a demand on my skills as well. For two months I dwelled in a feeling of inadequacy to propose anyone. My fear was equally justified as anyone else's, no matter how well read one was. And I was basically confined to English literature. Yet, my immediate choice was Michael. I was at the time most violently intimate with his books. To me he comprised seriousness and lightness, profound familiarity and strangeness, poetry and prose (besides, it is about time that a poet gets it, don't you think).

      In addition, I knew my candidate would be just one in a haystack. I had no illusions that my word would in any near future put the writer before an applauding crowd dressed in the same old, important-looking attires. In fact, this suggestion was aimed at the Swedish PEN, which has the right to propose a viable candidate. The PEN picks the best option out of some dozen presentations made by scholars, journalists, artists etc., and conveys it to the Nobel committee, which then stacks it under its own hay.

      At the warm PEN meeting on a freezing January night, many were there to listen and vote, old and young literature lovers, fantastic people. An old fan and translator of Michael's poetry into Swedish was present, as well as Michael's Swedish publisher. To say the least, they were warmed up and enthusiastic even before I began to talk. Still, the wretched thing remained – justification. My scholarly incisors dulled, though not because I had dull news to convey. It was like choosing the capital of a homeland that belonged to all and no one, the one everybody wanted to live in and felt most intimate with. To put it dramatically, it was like dividing Jerusalem between the claimers of primal belonging.

       As much as I felt some kind of learnt reverence to this powerful and nearly irresistible award, my imaginary homeland of literature seemed violated by this accolade as much as it was put on the sacred pedestal of protection. Somehow this upheaval of literature through the emphasis on one of its parts flattened it. It posited the capital as the country and the country as the capital, be it the largest city or not. "India is Indira and Indira is India", as Saleem Sinai keeps repeating in Midnight's Children (1989), ironically or not.

      A country is not its capital. Whoever writes and reads in a genuinely intimate (also inevitably violent) manner knows that literature pulled into political premises of grandeur can no longer hold ice cubes, let alone water. The laureate, the temporary capital, becomes a mined oasis, a city under shelling like Sarajevo in Salman's "Bosnia on My Mind" ( Index on Censorship 23:1/2, 1994). The ephemeral and also (partly) imaginary capital is heaved above all other cities, towns and villages. In this process, to put it even more dramatically, it is burnt while rising out of the cinders of oblivion, like some desperate Phoenix forced to enact all its essential characteristics at once. Many an honoured writer has lamented the devastating effects of this gift, and few have been able to go back being regular and functioning cities and villages. The Nobel Prize thus seemed pointless and detrimental, yet its power was irrefutable and I wanted to be in the game.

      I asked myself why do we so violate this imaginary country that we have built from scratch and which perhaps gives birth to us, like a real mother(land). Rationality does not seem to help in the equation, because we would have rid ourselves of the prizes a long time ago. To wrap the whole thing up with one of my far-fetched and violating interpretations, I think it is because we feel such great intimacy with literature that we sometimes find it unbearable. It is like the English Patient's intimacy with the desert, its winds and oases, with language. Still, inadequate and violent as I may feel, I am finding literature, and it is finding me. It shadows me, catches me, and enhouses me. It encountries me, the migrant.

 

Byline:
Adnan Mahmutovic is a doctoral student of English Literature at
Stockholm University who gets distracted all the time by his itch to
write fiction and indulge his old passion for comics. Besides academic
stuff, he has published a number of short stories collected in the book
Refugee.

 
 
Summer Issue (2007)
 
This issue, essayist Adnan Mahmtovic discuss the concept of "Charity" and everything about it. Read the literary analysis below.
 
 
 Charity
       By Adnan Mahmutovic  

        Herman Melville's novel The Confidence Man: His Masquerade posits charity as the primary issue at stake. The character that attempts to bring charity into presence does that by putting it into five different contexts. The problem of charity arises when it as such enters into a discourse in which it has to have a firm, stable meaning, definition. This demand seems to dissolve charity into the paradox of gift (as usury). In the other instance, charity's relation to trust is pursued throughout the whole novel. Nevertheless, I believe that the first chapter solely offers the ground of and an intriguing solution to this problematic.

        Confidence Man shows at the same time the free play, i.e. the impossibility of charity, and its possibility through silence and overt emphasis on its singularity.  Silence is the means of liberation from pure materialist worldliness, i.e. everything that bring charity into free play. Therefore, silence is the ultimate condition for the possibility of charity. Further, I seek to show how, in the text, charity is problematic only in what Kierkegaard calls "the realm of the universal" whereas its paradoxical nature makes it possible "on the strength of the absurd".  In other words, the very impossibility of charity what makes it possible. I will try to corroborate this reading by connecting the text to the Bible.

        Chapter I, entitled "A Mute Goes Aboard a Boat on the Mississippi", is at surface about a character who goes aboard a river steamer Fidele. It is in fact about the advent 1 of this man, this particular and peculiar man, the man who brings the question of charity onto the boat. Therefore, it is also the advent of "charity" as well. Peculiarly enough, this character is enshrouded in mystery from the beginning to the end of the chapter. Although it can be claimed that there are descriptions of him in the text, no real picture of him is given. He has no name, which, we may assume, would reveal something about him: birthplace, nationality, his status in society and other things a name traditionally conveys.

        The mystery is further increased by Melville's use of negative descriptions. For instance, the man is "of a mildly inoffensive sort" (2). Does this mean strongly offensive? Maybe, but nevertheless it perplexes and conceals more than it reveals. It is significant that he manages to remain a carte blanche throughout the extreme pressure exerted upon him to reveal himself. Carte blanche is of course the mode of temptation. People around such a person cannot stand the blankness and have to "read" him in a certain way, have to "write" their opinions on him. He seems to be indefinite and infinitely interpretable. Speaking of blankness, the man has with him a tablet on which he writes. He is silent, but he does communicate through writing.

        Moreover, he seems to be a man of spirit. He has no worldly necessities, no "trunk, valise, carpet bag, nor parcel". He is a person who at the beginning cannot be defined by means of binary oppositions. He is "stared at but unsaluted, with the air of neither courting nor shunning regard" (1). However, shortly afterwards, he enters into the structure of opposites by being posited as the antithesis to the character of the Barber.

         So far in the narrative, the question of charity is merely intriguing. It is first when the barber comes out with his clear-cut and opposing message "NO TRUST" (1) that the question of charity becomes more intricate.  It is important to notice that those people who are described as the most immediate spectators of this play of notions have ready made minds concerning the introduced idea. They immediately classify the charity man as "some strange kind of simpleton" (1), unreasonable, lunatic, strange, singular. They seem to have a premeditated conception, of the two poles of this binary opposition and can easily, as if naturally, decide which one is preferable or perhaps even true. In fact, they see charity and the man as an "apparent intrusion", a "singularly innocent" one, but "inappropriate to the time and place" (2). Already here it is obvious that "the mute" and charity are one and the same. They are equaled by the narrative voice: "his writing was of much the same sort". The fact that charity/mute is seen as an intruder suggests that the characters who resent it/him already know about its paradoxical nature. Their response is that it is lunacy and stupidity, "harmless enough, would it keep to himself, but not wholly unobnoxious" (3, my italics). In fact, they understand the barber's "NO TRUST" as reasonable and normal, a matter of fact, and "in a sense not less intrusive than the contrasted ones of the stranger", yet it "did not, as it seemed, provoke any corresponding derision or surprise, much less indignation; and still less, to all appearances, did it gain for the inscriber the repute of being a simpleton" (3).

         The question of charity posed by a "deaf" and "mute" singular person, a stranger, is tricky. The mute introduces it in five phases. He never erases the word charity from his board but constantly alters its connotations, the contexts in which it can be used, the way in which it can be perceived as if he is building up its meaning or explaining it, whereas the barbers "NO TRUST" appears simple, clear-cut, rational, graspable, with only one true meaning, with no strings attached, straight forward, a matter of course, in short, given. It is indeed "skillfully executed by [the barber] himself, gilt with the likeness of a razor elbowed in readiness to shave", it "graces" his shop (3). Even the person who hangs up the sign, the barber, seems to be simple and acceptable to the crowd. Everybody knows him, who and what he is. Although he never reveals his name either, he nevertheless has the demystifying title "barber", which implies certain stereotypical characteristics. Moreover, it is his stereotypicality and being-taken-for-granted that the silent, mysterious stranger brings to question by his indeterminable, intimidating and intrusive notion of charity. What happens is that as soon as charity is put into the opposition to "NO TRUST" the latter reveals its ambivalence. "NO TRUST" too is an ideologically loaded concept. Further, the instability of the one notion in a binary (charity) reveals the hidden instability of its counterpart.  "NO TRUST" reflects barber's faith. That is, he has to believe it and later he even has to defend it just as the mute stands for trust and charity. The inner paradox of the barber's reliance on "NO TRUST" is following: he must have trust that the money he receives as payment for his work is not counterfeit money, that its monetary value is granted. Therefore, "NO TRUST" is in fact constituted in "trust", which is furthermore the basis of charity as well. The barber claims he does not trust yet quite naturally he is forced to. Wittgenstein pointed out if everybody was always lying there would be no such thing as communication. In similar terms, in order to say you do not trust you necessarily depend on a great deal trust.

         In Given Time: Counterfeit Money, Jacques Derrida maintains that charity is an institution that should never have been institutionalized, and this is in a sense precisely what the mute shows. As a religious or secular-social form or duty, charity will always be tainted by politics and exchange, rather than being an altruistic gift. In other words, if charity is a duty it is not a free gift from the heart.

         I will now demonstrate how the text shows the possibility of charity. In order to find the possibility of charity, we have to take a closer look at the five phases that charity undergoes in the mute's writing on his slate. For the sake of clarity I will once again emphasize that the man and charity are equaled in the text.

         As I suggested, the mute is a total mystery. He is a stranger with no "badge of authority about him…quite the contrary…of an aspect so singularly innocent" (3), which disturbs the people on the boat.  Even the narrator interprets him by means of other characters' reactions to his sudden appearance (is there any other kind?). The narrator claims that it was "from the shrugged shoulders, titters, whispers, wanderings of the crowd" that it was plain that he was a stranger. So even the narrator distances himself from the supposed omniscient knowledge of the man in cream-colours. What we get to know is that he pursues  "the path of duty" (3), which is the core of the problem with charity according to Derrida. No altruistic gift can be based on demand. It must not be a part of the law or a social norm.  Let us now look at the five phases that the mute leads charity through:

·     "Charity thinketh no evil"

·     "Charity suffereth long, and is kind"

·     "Charity endureth all things"

·     "Charity believeth all things"

·     "Charity never faileth"

         The first claim is, in fact, taken from the Bible. The fact that the passengers immediately react strongly against charity shows its free play. The mute  confirms this play of meaning by his next move. He in fact, alters the context thus altering and questioning the holy text. By this "blasphemy" the mute ignores/questions the universality of the first claim thus betraying his duty (if we, assuming the origin of the statement, believe that his duty is the one to God or perhaps charity itself ). Thus charity really "suffereth" and it seems that this suffering is its essential quality. It cannot cease to suffer just as Orpheus cannot refrain from looking back if he is to be Orpheic.

         One other thing is interesting, in fact the idea of kindness.  Charity suffers "and 2 is kind". This second sentence comes after the attack on the mute. He turns (the other cheek?), and writes the second statement. It seems that his implied suffering is equaled to that of charity itself.  Moreover, it is possible to claim that charity suffers because as soon as it enters a socially determined context, it vanishes as such. Therefore it is kind and turns the other cheek, i.e. it "endureth all things". By putting it into yet another context, the man thus both appropriates it and betrays it. He describes charity in positive terms rather than the "negative theology" style of the narrator. Yet charity is kind and does not retaliate. It "endureth all things". Of course, if it suffers it must endure, otherwise it would disappear. The paradox in the above statement is that it both confirms and destroys charity. Destroys by revealing its free play though the claim is that it endures all things, yet it survives because it "endureth" even this Derridean free play as well. It endures all things, all things that there are.

          The next crucial statement is that "charity believeth all things". Its condition is trust, faith, so that it has to believe all things with no exception, unconditionally, with no judgment. This would mean that the passengers were right to turn their backs onto it. There can be no such thing. It is, as they said, lunacy.

          The final claim is that "charity never faileth". After the first four examples it is clear that it does fail, in fact it fails to "be". It never comes givenness. However, the fact is that no matter how many contexts are changed, if it is done ad infinitum, what remains on the slate after the mute's gesture of erasure is "charity". It never really changes. It stands there, "suffereth" and "endureth" all contexts that show its paradoxicality. It endures by believing all things because it "thinketh no evil" and "is kind". Therefore it "never faileth". It cannot fail because it is always there alone, silent and "singularly innocent", in constant withdrawal. It suffers the attempts to bring it out of its solitude, its secret dwelling, by putting it into fixed social contexts and the realms of economy and duty. The possibility of the erasure of all the contexts every time leaves charity singular, solitary, and silent. If charity could speak at all it should be only in contexts, but then it enters into play. But if silence is its essence, or rather condition, then it cannot speak at all, not even in contexts. It speaks saying nothing. When solitary, it is silent and says everything while still remaining secret. It is hidden in the contexts, its true nature withdraws beyond the text.

          The muteness makes charity and the man singular. The claim that it is "singularly innocent" speaks in favour of this reading. Innocence is a part of the universal, and thus the paradoxical, but in the text this kind of reasoning is invalid. The text detaches innocence from universality, ness-ness and gives it a singular character. As long as it is singular it will remain pure. When it enters the field of duty, it appears as "an intrusion", and vanishes. That is why it itself has to be believed and trusted with no ultimate logos at all. Ultimate belief, no reason, no judgment is required and that is why it unconditionally "believeth all things".  Trust and faith are its conditions.  It has to be believed and itself has to believe. Charity is madness beyond reason of the universal, because it is in the realm of faith, on the strength of the absurd.

          Furthermore, the very fact that all the people refuse the stranger (charity), leaves charity (the mute) in the realm of singularity and silence. The people see the man as a simpleton who foolishly believes that there is such a thing as charity. They attack him as if he were evil, as if he wanted to persuade them into evil, whereas "NO TRUST" which is a negative notion, an idea to be shunned, they consider normal: "not infrequently seen", "gracing other shops beside barber's" (3) marked bay good judgment which it is not.   
 

Bibliography

Derrida, Jacques. Given Time: I. Counterfeit Money . Trans. Kamuf, Peggy. London: UCP, 1994.

Kierkegaard, Sören. Fear and Trembling. Trans. Hannay, Alastair. London: Penguin Books, 1985.

Melville, Herman. The Confidence-Man: His Masquerade . London: W.W. Norton & Company, 1971.

 

About the Author: 
Adnan Mahmutovic is a doctoral student of English Literature at 
Stockholm University who gets distracted all the time by his itch to  
write fiction and indulge his old passion for comics. Besides academic  
stuff, he has published a number of short stories collected in the book 
"Refugee."

 
Spring Issue (2007)
 
This issue, essayist Rocky Reichman writes on editing your writing and how it can lead to success and publication in the literary world. For essays from previous issues, please see below.
 

 
The Critical Critique: How editing your writing increases your chances of getting published
                                         

                             By Rocky Reichman

There are many things a writer has to have in mind when trying to get published. Among these are learning how to write a professional critique and having credentials. However, most aspiring authors too often miss out on one of the most critical elements necessary to become a published author: editing. No matter how good your query letter is, you still need work that's written well. Even if you have good credentials, that won't matter to an editor or literary agent. When they see work that is either poorly edited or not even edited at all, one word screams out at them: amateur.

Having your work edited really can make or break your chances of getting published. While first-class queries and excellent credentials can impress editors, they absolutely loathe badly edited work. After all, isn't the job of an editor to make sure every manuscript is edited? It is. Therefore, editors can't stand work that's not edited or not well written. Why is editing your work so important to the editors you submit it to? Because writing that needs editing means a lot of work for editors. It takes time to edit; precious time that editors don't have. If you haven't edited your writing properly before sending it off, then odds are that you'r chances of becoming a published author are slim. Bad editing is a turnoff for editors: the last thing they need is more work. Therefore, it's best for every writer to have this in mind before they send their work out to editors and agents. Not only does badly edited work disappoint editors and agents, but it also tells them that they are dealing with a writer who isn't professional. Having professionalism is vital to becoming published, and without that, no agent or editor is going to take you seriously as a writer.

            How can you avoid this? How can you show editors and agents that you're a professional writer?

            There's only one way, really: show them that you care. Show them that you are a writer dedicated to your work. All you really need is a bit of care and effort. Make a commitment to start editing your work. No writer enjoys having to edit his or her own work – that's a nightmare for most of us – but a little effort goes a long way. As the saying goes, "practice makes perfect," and I think that the more a writer proofreads and edits his or her own work, the better they'll become at it. Once writers master the art of editing, they've saved themselves a lot of rejection letters and have increased their chances of getting published.

             In what way should you, as a writer, go about editing your work? First, you will need to proofread and copyedit your work, which means correcting any grammatical, spelling and language mistakes. Then, you will also need to do some content editing, or critiquing. This includes proofreading as well as editing for content, clarity and making sure your manuscript flows properly and can be easily read.

             There are different paths you can take to edit your work, and the following are what I suggest. First, you can learn how to edit your work yourself. Though this takes time, it shows you care. If you follow this suggestion, then you will also save yourself a lot of money on editorial services and learn how to be an editor at the same time. My second suggestion is that you get a very close friend or relative (these can include a spouse, parent or brother) and get them to be your personal editor. By having someone you know well to edit and critique your work, not only will you get the most valuable evaluation of your work, but you will also be more willing to listen when your editor suggests improvements. Because you know your editor well, you know that when they give you suggestions that improve your writing they are not being biased; rather, they care for you and your writing. I myself learn a lot any time someone critiques my work, and because of listening to them and learning from my mistakes, my writing always improves. My third and final suggestion for all writers is, if you don't agree with my first two suggestions, then do not go alone on this: hire someone as your professional editor. It will prove worth the money in the end, when you are a published writer.

             By following the above suggestions, you'll never have badly written or poorly edited work again. You'll literally find yourself receiving fewer rejections from editors, and soon you will no longer be a writer – you will be an author.

  

 

 
 
Fall Issue (2006)
 
In our this issue, essayist Geoff Anderson wrote about Linguist Topography, his name for how the land in which people live in affect their language and the way they speak.            
                
     
                     Linguistic Topography
                                  By Geoff Anderson

Where you live and work affects how you speak. How could it be otherwise? My father worked all day in a noisy factory, so he tended to shout for a while when he got home. People who work in a high speed environment, where they have to make quick decisions, are wont to speak in a clipped, abbreviated way, throwing in their own acronyms TST (To Save Time). Significantly, the acronym was invented as recently as
1943. It is a modern, urban, slick trick to speed up our language.

Listen to the Yellow Cabbies next time you're in the Big Apple - they take bites out of the English language and spit them out. New Yorkers live fast and speak fast, gabbling, squashing their vowels TST (see above). Their vowels are squashed also because of the psychological effect of the skyscrapers bearing down on them. New
Yorkers force out sentences as if they're in a hurry to give birth, pushing and heaving. Next time you see an episode of Seinfeld, watch how George stretches his
arms out wide when he wants to emphasize a point. He looks like a tenor striving for his top note, and he's doing it for the same reason as the tenor, to ease the birth
of his words through their constricted vocal passages.

It isn't a criticism to say that New Yorkers gabble. It's just the way they are. Interestingly, 'gabble' derives from Old Norse 'gabba' meaning 'to mock.' Does the urban gabbler naturally tend to satire? Jerry Seinfeld, meant to portray the archetypal New Yorker, mocks everybody and everything, including himself.

The Seinfeld gang are certainly typical New Yorkers in that they don't make small talk - it requires too much effort. Instead they speak in one-liners. That other famous New Yorker, Woody Allen, was selling         one-liners to gossip columns by the time he was fifteen! But Allen and Seinfeld are nothing special, for New York is bursting with one-liners. Every citizen thinks heor she's a comic, and even when they aren't cracking jokes, they sound as if they are, because their environment makes them speak that way. 'What does a Cartesian skunk say? I stink therefore I am.' You gotta laugh!

Now travel West. Hit the great open spaces. You won't find farmers speaking in that way. Plains people are under no pressure to speak. Neither from shortage of time, for their cycle is the season not the day; nor from towering buildings, for there's nothing above them but the canopy of sky. Instead of the staccato one-liners of city types, the speech of country folk is an andante movement in a long symphony. Urban dwellers tell gags; country folk tell stories. Country music tells stories, and the slide guitar and fiddle are instruments that mirror the way the country singer's words slip and slide over their tongue before floating out onto the air in that familiar drawl. The word 'drawl' originated in the Middle Dutch verb 'dralen,' meaning 'to linger.' That says it all. City speech is rushing to the next appointment; country speech lingers on the porch, watching the sun go down.

Another example of how environment affects speech is to be found on the other side of the world in Russia. Asked to describe how a Russian speaks, we would say they seem to form their words largely in the back of the throat. It sounds sometimes as if they are trying to swallow their words rather than let them out of their mouths. There is a simple environmental reason for this. If the air outside your mouth is 40 degrees below freezing, you are going to take two precautionary steps: firstly, you will speak as much as possible without opening your mouth wide, if at all, and secondly, you will articulate the words as far away from the front of your mouth as possible. Indeed, ventriloquists probably speak Russian excellently, and conversely Russians
would make brilliant ventriloquists. 'Ventriloquy' literally means 'speaking from the belly' which is probably as far away from the mouth as you can get and still be understood!

In complete contrast, travel to Italy. Sunny and hot. You want to cool down when you speak; lose heat from the mouth, not conserve it. The Italian language has therefore evolved to allow this to happen: firstly, Italians end virtually every word with their mouths open, pronouncing 'a' or 'o' or 'e' or 'i'; secondly they speak at the front of their mouths, with plenty of dental and labio-dental consonants and no gutturals. Heat is lost from their tongues and lips and in the warm breath they are exhaling. Their Roman noses have large nostrils to enable plenty of fresh air to be drawn in, to fill the bellows required for this vowel-laden language. This difference between the Russian and Italian languages extends to the way they sing as well. A Ukrainian operatic tenor who trained at the renowned Harkov Conservatoire in Ukraine, where they teach tenors to sing 'in the Italian way,' told me how Italian tenors sing 'up and out,' whereas Russian tenors sing much more 'within.' Consequently, Russian tenors sound more like Western baritones, Russian baritones sound like Western basses and Russian basses sound like nobody else on
earth!

I'm not sure whether this branch of linguistics has an academic name, but until somebody tells me what it is, I shall call it: 'linguistic topography,' how environment affects language and speech. It would be interesting to hear of other examples.

                     

 
 
Spring Issue (2006)
 
For the Spring Issue of Literary Magic, our essay concerns the topic of instant messages and emails, and how grammar rules are not adhered to when sending them. This issue, essayist Rocky Reichman delivers our first piece of work.

Spring Issue (2006)

 

Essay: Instant Messages:

 

The Apocalypse of the Totalitarian Grammarian  

By Rocky Reichman,

The Totalitarian Grammarian


It has recently come to my attention that the while proper grammar usage does prevail in most places, it does not in all. Unfortunately, there are constant and continuous mistakes made by everyone. It is correct to say that most of these grammatical mistakes are made by teenagers and the like, although to my dismay (and to the dismay of all grammarians for that matter) that’s not always the case. There are times when people make mistakes-older, more educated, people. We’re not talking about misusing there and their or using which in place of that or visa versa. We are not even discussing making errors regarding where to place commas. Inherently, what we are speaking about lies in the realm of the most basic grammar. It is our task to analyze the types of problems in instant messaging that grammar is presently facing, how they originated, and how to resolve them.

To begin with, I would like to present a select few of the many grammatical errors that I have seen in instant messages as well as the more formal email. The following are the most common grammar mistakes I have found, occurring either in emails or instant messages I have shared with fellow persons: the lowercase letters and numbers becoming abbreviations for words, periods and other punctuation marks either missing or in the wrong place, and misusing capitalization. To start with the first, I am sure it is easy to discover where this problem of using abbreviations too often in emails and instant messages stems from: weariness. I mean this in two senses, one that people are literally tired of having to press the extra keys to type in entire words, and second that it has been accepted as the status quo. True, the use of abbreviations in emails and instant messages is axiomatic, and is not frowned on by anyone. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Most people today find it strange when people always spell things out (even the longest and most tiresome words to type) while instant messaging their friends. Even though it is accepted by a majority of instant messengers to use abbreviations, that still doesn’t make it right. True, you would use it, but what if you were speaking with your English or grammar teacher in an instant message (although I admit this would be very unlikely), would you (assuming your teacher himself always adheres to the rules of grammar in instant messages) use abbreviations? And even if you wouldn’t, what if you did it inadvertently, and then realized you were instant messaging your teacher? These are all questions I think we need to contemplate. Regarding those instances when abbreviations are used due to lack of time or fatigue, I do not at all denounce using them. However, if this is not the case and abbreviations are used because the person is lazy, then most grammarians I am sure (though not I, since my position regarding this grammatical error, as by most errors, is neutral) would denounce it. A couple of the most common abbreviations I have found in instant messages are substituting the lowercase letter u for you and the lowercase letter r for are, although as I mentioned earlier, my stance regarding this issue is neutral.

Next, a word on the misuse of punctuation marks in instant messages and, like with abbreviations, how to detect whether the reasons for these errors really make them grammatically incorrect. As I mentioned above, when punctuation marks are either misused or missing because of fatigue or time constraint, this matter is not an issue. If someone types an extra exclamation or question mark (or two) to emphasize a point then nothing is wrong with that. If however, it was not done for these reasons other than those just mentioned, the majority of grammarians would frown on it. Regarding the matter of erring in the use of capitalization, the same would apply. It would be a problem grammatically in all cases except those of fatigue. Next, let’s talk about where these problems might have come from.

It is my opinion that in the beginning of instant messaging, since few people owned computers and those who were wealthy enough to afford them were probably very educated people, proper grammar was usually used (not always of course, since nobody’s perfect). However, as new technology was developed, more computers created and the amount of people buying and using them increased, that all changed. Since instant messaging became more common and frequently used, the amount of time people had to type them probably decreased. As a result of having more people to talk to and more less educated people (in the sense that they were less stringent regarding grammar rules) the rate of people using correct grammar in instant messages probably decreased. What this tells us is that those in the beginning, the ones who did not use proper grammar only because they were stressed for time, were justified in using abbreviations, extra commas and the like. However, the later generations (that’s us,) who most of the time are improperly using grammar because of laziness or because it is the accepted “thing to do” socially,  are actually wrong (at least the majority of us are). However, don’t get worried, because you don’t have to go around admitting that, since grammar, intrinsically, can only control us in limited places. That’s right, grammar has limited power. It prevails on written and typed documents, yes, and nearly all other places, yes, but not everywhere. Emails, and instant messages in particular are one of the exclusive places where it is alright to use improper grammar (hence, you now see why earlier I stated my position on these matters as being neutral). My position regarding these matters is neutral, but not for all grammatical errors. Regarding spelling, I would say that in most cases (presuming of course that improper grammar was not used because of lack of time or fatigue) that spelling is essential in instant messages. I am not only saying this to denounce those who are bad spellers, but rather to teach them a lesson. If someone does not adhere to grammar rules in an instant message regarding punctuation or capitalization mistakes or abbreviating things that should not be retrenched on, then the person you are speaking to in the instant message can still understand what you are trying to portray to him. But, if you misspell multiple words in an instant message then true, in many cases it would not alter the meaning of the sentence (in the sense that the person you are instant messaging will still be able to understand what you are saying). But, this does not at all pertain to every case. There are some instant messaging conversations where spelling all the words correctly is intrinsic to sending the correct message to your friend. For example, if someone (accidentally let’s hope, although I unfortunately have seen this done intentionally) misspells the word sesquipedaliphobia or onomatopoeia, then the consequences could be drastic (if, in fact, the receiver of the message even knows the semantics, phonetics and proper spelling of these words in the first place). Another, perhaps more practical example would be a case where someone misspelled the word donkey, accidentally replacing the D with an M. The result would be monkey, a completely different word, and all because of a small spelling error. Or, if someone meant to ask their friend in an instant message for some pens for an important exam the next day, but misspelled it and replaced the E with a U, then the consequences would be drastic. Let’s take the most extreme case as an example, where someone wanted to ask their friend in an instant message for pens for the next day but unintentionally spelled it puns. Then, the next day his friend gave him puns instead of the expected pens the moment before the exam. What would happen next? (I’ll leave that for the reader to surmise.) Hence, while most grammar rules don’t have to be stringently adhered to while instant messaging someone, there are those rare cases(for instance, when it comes to spelling) when it would be wise to follow the rules, not only to portray more clearly what you are saying to your friend, but also to ensure you don’t fail your exam for having puns instead of pens when it comes time to handing your test in to your teacher.

      Concerning how to resolve this issue, there are only a couple of things I have to say. The best thing to do in order to ameliorate these grammatical problems would be to cease our laziness and pay more attention to grammar rules. However, everyone knows that while that is certainly the best way to handle the problem, it is simultaneously the least practical way. A more practical resolution to these all too often grammatical errors being made is to limit our mistakes, meaning to say that we either take a moment to skim our instant message right before scanning it for mistakes. If not, then we should at least use abbreviations, extra punctuation marks and capital letters where lowercase letters should be, but just limit these grammatical mistakes. I am not imploring that people do what I have suggested above, please do not get me wrong. Rather, the only thing I am suggesting (I would even go so far as to use the word exhorting) to people is to spell correctly when necessary. If it does not change the meaning of the word and will not confuse the receiver of the instant message as to what you are saying, then there is no need to be so stringent when it comes to spelling. However, if misspelling a word will change the word’s semantics and even cause confusion to the friend you’re sending the message to, then being lenient in this case is something I would definitely not advise.

We all must remember, that whether you’re a child, teenager or adult, the same grammar rules apply to everyone. Incorrect grammar usage is not tolerated by most grammarians, although, as I mentioned above, I think it’s safe to have mistakes in instant messages. In most cases, grammatical errors have little effect on the instant message itself,  although we should all be careful nevertheless, because sometimes (especially when it comes to spelling ) errors can greatly impact the message you are trying to get across to your friend. We should remember that while our English and grammar teachers are not watching over us to make sure we don’t make any mistakes when we instant message someone, it still wouldn’t hurt if we followed the rules, just for the pun of it.

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